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Author Topic: Squiggy died.  (Read 1442 times)

john doe

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Squiggy died.
« on: October 15, 2016, 03:29:58 PM »
He's been sick for several days.  Fluffed feathers, heavy breathing, lethargic, lack of balance, sitting on bottom of cage at times.  Today I could hear a rattling in his breathing, but he had renewed appetite and seemed more responsive--he sat on his perch when I left for work this morning and got near the light I put by his cage to keep him warm.  I read to keep them warm and that once they are in this shape that the stress of taking them to a vet often does them in.  So, I didn't take him to a vet, not that I'm familiar with any avian vets in this town.  This is what I feared 5 days ago when he first got sick. 

I got him in June of 2009. He was happy and energetic.  He loved to play with his toys, chew the wood on his perches, and talk to the mirror.  He liked when I played music, and he always got excited whenever I fried anything.  The sizzle was a sound he responded to.

Here's a picture from earlier this year. 



I feel rather strange.  I've been dreading this all week.  But now, when I walked through the door at 11 pm and see his lifeless little body lying on the cage floor, I feel strange.  It's as if I can see myself grieving, but I don't really feel it.  And it's not that I'm not allowing myself to feel it.  I can't.  Just feels empty, hollow, quiet.  Time to move on and not think of the little bird any more.  I need to dispose of him, but nothing feels right.  The trash doesn't feel right.  Wouldn't know where to bury him.  Can't leave him where he is.

And as I type this, the tears start to come.  It's a strange world.

Brinjen

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Re: Squiggy died.
« Reply #1 on: October 15, 2016, 11:28:52 PM »
I'm sorry to hear about Squiggy. Seven years is a long time to care for something, I imagine that's quite a void open for you right now. Do what feels right, even delaying.  :th_smilie_tra_149:
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Re: Squiggy died.
« Reply #2 on: October 16, 2016, 02:54:54 AM »
I'm so sorry to hear that JD. :(   From your description it looks like the little guy really developed a personality of its own from being with you.  If there's a park nearby where you particularly like to go I'd try burying him there.  Find a little trail close to a nice tree or a garden.
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Nameless

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Re: Squiggy died.
« Reply #3 on: October 16, 2016, 07:18:47 AM »
I'm so sorry. It's always hard losing an animal companion, and he was with you for a long time. You gave him a good life.

If there's a park nearby where you particularly like to go I'd try burying him there.  Find a little trail close to a nice tree or a garden.

Seconding this idea. I wouldn't feel comfortable putting him in the trash either (that's how I ended up with a bunch of minnows in my freezer...).
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Ms Velvet

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Re: Squiggy died.
« Reply #4 on: October 16, 2016, 09:18:37 AM »
I am so sorry to hear your birdie died, it is so hard to lose a pet, they are family. I also think that burying him in a park or a pretty garden, a peaceful place where he will not be disturbed is the way to go and you can visit there later if you want. I also recommend wrapping him in something that you have worn as a gesture of comfort and love.

john doe

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Re: Squiggy died.
« Reply #5 on: October 16, 2016, 02:37:14 PM »
I'm so sorry. It's always hard losing an animal companion, and he was with you for a long time. You gave him a good life.

I really don't think that's true.  I remember the day I got him.  He was very active in the big cage at the pet store.  He was feisty and playful, and was hopping around playing and interacting with the other birds.  He seemed very happy.  For the seven years I had him, he never saw another parakeet. I would play recordings of them, but he never really interacted with me the way he did with the birds in the pet store. 

I sometimes debated whether I should get him a companion.  The reason I didn't was because I knew one of them would eventually die, and I would be back at square one.  Not that I didn't like having him, but I never really felt like he had a very good life. 

I like birds.  I always have.  I don't think I could ever keep another one.  Maybe I'm changing, but there's something inherently sad about confining a creature that was born to fly in a space where flying is rare.  I feel selfish for having done so. 

john doe

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Re: Squiggy died.
« Reply #6 on: October 17, 2016, 03:29:47 AM »


Squiggy has been interred.  I thought about a park, but chose not to for one simple reason.  Parks are pleasurable places where people enjoy to go, and they are a public place.  There's nothing joyful about death, and it's very personal.  Squiggy is shallowly buried in a riverbank underneath a bridge by a lightly traveled rural highway.  The sun is beautiful today, and his resting spot matches his life--concealed, observing a hayfield where other creatures are enjoying life.  He will decompose and be carried by the river into oblivion, lost in a sea of matter that has neither feelings nor memories, joining the lost souls of countless billions who have come before him, perhaps having been comprised of some of their matter.

I don't understand why I cry.  It's all very simple and logical.  Tears change nothing.  It's not really so much the bird that is upsetting.  It's the vibrant mass of activity, life, and joy that has been reduced to a teeming mass of death.  It's the abrupt change of my routines.  It's the empty cage.  It's the inevitable state at which we all will arrive.  All joy.  All happiness.  All life.  It's ephemeral.  It is neither permanent nor long lasting, and once it's gone it never returns.

Today is the second day he's been gone.  He had not starting to decompose yet.  He was not stiff.  His limbs still moved easily and his neck allowed his head to fall over when I lifted him up.  But he was gone. Just a motionless mass of feathers, blood, bone, beak. 

Goodbye Squiggy.  Sorry bud, but I just can't think about you any longer.


Dana

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Re: Squiggy died.
« Reply #7 on: October 17, 2016, 11:54:53 PM »
I'm sorry about Squiggy, JD.  It is sad when an animal you care about dies.  Your feelings about keeping him in a cage without other birds resonates with me as well.  When I have pets (which is always--lol) I always have more than one.  Animals need companionship too.  Ive never had a bird, but my Grandma had one.  He was company for her.  He seemed happy, and he would always respond to her when she talked to him.

Hope you feel better soon.
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Re: Squiggy died.
« Reply #8 on: October 18, 2016, 02:13:55 AM »
Sorry to hear about Squiggy, JD  :face-sad:

Not everybody understands that birds form attachments to their humans, just like other pets.  You will miss him for a while, I'm sure.
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Ms Velvet

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Re: Squiggy died.
« Reply #9 on: October 19, 2016, 01:43:55 AM »
Birds are just as an important pet as other animals and its totally understandable that you would mourn Squiggy as you would if you had a dog or a cat.

I have never owned a bird but I like them and my encounters with birds I found them to be quite the delightful characters. We (My Mom & I) used to babysit our neighbors parakeet when they went away. His name was Pete and he was such a personality and he talked a lot, I loved that bird and I used to go visit him every week and talk to him. They seem to take a liking to certain people and not so much to others. He liked me and said my name as soon as he saw me, he actually said Hi Paula.
I remember this parakeet at the home of these people I visited when I was 9 years old, he was so smart and entertaining. I was visiting a Jehovah's Witness couple In Grand Forks, N.D. who were the grandparents of my best friend. They said a long prayer every morning before breakfast and the bird was allowed to be loose in the daytime. He knew when the prayer was going on and that no one was supposed to interrupt it or open their eyes. He would wait and as soon as we bowed our heads he would fly to the table and start eating the food. I would hear and feel the bird fly over to my plate or my girlfriends plate and start picking at our toast or bread so I opened my eyes and watched having a difficult time to suppress giggles. As soon as the prayer was over he flew off and was scolded but they didn't really mind him doing that. They can be so entertaining and if they sing I find their sounds cheer me up.

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Re: Squiggy died.
« Reply #10 on: October 19, 2016, 04:31:18 AM »
Birds are just as an important pet as other animals and its totally understandable that you would mourn Squiggy as you would if you had a dog or a cat.

I have never owned a bird but I like them and my encounters with birds I found them to be quite the delightful characters. We (My Mom & I) used to babysit our neighbors parakeet when they went away. His name was Pete and he was such a personality and he talked a lot, I loved that bird and I used to go visit him every week and talk to him. They seem to take a liking to certain people and not so much to others. He liked me and said my name as soon as he saw me, he actually said Hi Paula.
I remember this parakeet at the home of these people I visited when I was 9 years old, he was so smart and entertaining. I was visiting a Jehovah's Witness couple In Grand Forks, N.D. who were the grandparents of my best friend. They said a long prayer every morning before breakfast and the bird was allowed to be loose in the daytime. He knew when the prayer was going on and that no one was supposed to interrupt it or open their eyes. He would wait and as soon as we bowed our heads he would fly to the table and start eating the food. I would hear and feel the bird fly over to my plate or my girlfriends plate and start picking at our toast or bread so I opened my eyes and watched having a difficult time to suppress giggles. As soon as the prayer was over he flew off and was scolded but they didn't really mind him doing that. They can be so entertaining and if they sing I find their sounds cheer me up.

My grandmother used to play the piano at the meetings.

Whenever she practiced the songs for the week at home, her yellow canary Chickie would fly over and land on the piano and SIIIIIING away while she played.  She was heartbroken when he died, he was old and she found him in the bottom of the cage one day.

After a while, JD, you will remember all the cute things Squiggy used to do and some of the sadness will go away.
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